John Howard, the chirpy Australian Prime Minister, flies to England for a meeting with the Queen. Over a cup of tea, Howard brings up his grand new plans for his country.

"Your Majesty, mate, can we turn Australia into a kingdom, in order to increase its force in the world market?"

The Queen shakes her head and replies, "One needs a king for a kingdom, Mr Howard and unfortunately you are most certainly not a king."

Not to be dissuaded, Johnny asks, "Would it be possible just to transform Australia into an empire then?"

"No, you chubby-faced chap," snorts the Queen, "for an empire you need an emperor, and you are most certainly not an emperor."

Howard thinks for a moment and then asks if it is possible to turn Australia into a principality.

The Queen replies, "For a principality, you need a prince, and you Mr Howard are definitely not a prince."

Pausing for a sip of her tea, Her Majesty then adds: "To be quite honest, having met both you and several other Australians, I think Australia is still best suited as a COUNTRY."