A man is walking in the desert on the verge of death when he comes across a shiny lamp which he proceeds to rub. Out pops a genie dressed in a polyester suit, clip tie and an IRS name tag. The IRS genie offers him three wishes which he is understandably reluctant to accept. He ignores the genie until he realizes that he better take him up on his offer or he will surely die.

The dying man asks for the most opulent spread of food and drink.

POOF! A beautiful oasis appears with the most succulent food and drink. After the man has had a bit to eat and drink and recover his senses he makes his second wish to be wealthy beyond his wildest dreams.

POOF! The man is instantly sitting on an enormous pile of gold coins. The man takes some time to absorb all that was happening as the sun begins to set.

The IRS genie is becoming impatient and begins prodding the man for his final wish. Eventually the man complies and begins by telling his woes with women. His third wish is to always be close to and needed by women.

POOF! The man is turned into a tampon.

The moral of this story: You will never get anything from the IRS without strings attached.