Two guys in a locker room after their racquetball game. One guy notices that the other has a cork in his butt. "If you don't mind my mentioning it", he says, "that cork looks really uncomfortable. Why don't you take it out?"

"I can't," laments the first one. "It's permanent"

"I don't understand," says guy two.

First guy says. "I was walking along the beach when I tripped over an oil lamp and a big puff of smoke happened. Then a huge man in a turban came oozing out.

He said, "I am Hassan the genie. I can grant you one wish."

And I said, "No shit!"