What happens when you cross a pig with a family court judge?

Nothing. There are some things a pig just won't do.

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What is the difference between a family law lawyer and an onion?

People cry when they chop up onions

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What's the difference between a dead skunk and a dead family court judge in the road?

Vultures will eat the skunk.

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You'e trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a family law judge. Your gun has only two bullets. What should you do?

Shoot the judge. Twice.

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Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?

They had pictures of the Court of Appeal judges on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.