A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town. He sees a farmer and his hound dog sitting sitting out on the front porch of a rusted old shack, and he figures he'll have a little fun.

Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"

Farmer: "Dogs caint talk!"

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Great, thanks for asking."

(Farmer stares in stupefied amazement )

Cowboy: "How does your owner treat you?"

Dog: "Really well. He walks me twice a day, feeds me Alpo, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Farmer: "Horses caint talk!"

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

(Farmer falls off his chair)

Cowboy: "How's your owner treat you?"

Horse: "Pretty good. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

The farmer stands up and says, "Them sheep ain't nothing but a bunch of damned liars!"