Doug staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you Doug?"

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, Debbie, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rectum…..

I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it – stuck right in the middle of the cow's behind… still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, 'Hey,....... this looks like yours!'

"and then, I don't remember much after that."