Bill's all excited about his new rifle. So, he goes bear hunting in Alaska.

The first bear he sees is a little brown bear, and he kills it with his first shot. There is a tap on his shoulder, and he turns around to see a big black bear.The black bear says "You've got two choices. One, I maul you to death or two, we have sex."

Bill bends over for the bear. He's sore for 2 days, but he recovers and vows revenge.

Bill heads out on another trip to Alaska and he finds the black bear and kills him. At that moment there is a tap on his shoulder.A huge grizzly is standing right behind him.The grizzly says, "That was a big mistake. You've got 2 choices, either I maul you to death or we have sex."

Bill bends over. He survives, but he's really hurting and takes quite a bit of time to recover, and, he's outraged. Sure enough, he heads back to Alaska and finds the grizzly and shoots him at point blank range.

There's a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to find an enormous polar bear, and the polar bear says, "You don't really come here for the hunting, do you?"