EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATION

Employee Name ________ Date of Review ____________

KNOWELEGE:

1.____ The son of a bitch really knows his shit
2.____ Knows only enough to be dangerous
3.____ Only half a brain and is dangerous
4.____ Fucking brain damaged. His coffee cup has higher I.Q.

ACCURACY:

1.____ Does excellent work is not preoccupied with women
2.____ Pretty good; only occasionally blows it out his ass
3.____ Has to take his shoes off to count higher than ten
4.____ Couldn't count his balls and get the same number twice

ATTITUDE:

1.____ Extremely cooperative (Kisses ass frequently)
2.____ Brown noser in poor standing
3.____ Often pisses off co-workers; thinks it's his job
4.____ Dosen't give a shit, never did, never will

RELIABILITY:

1.____ Really a dependable little cocksucker
2.____ Can rely on him at evaluation time
3.____ Can rely on him to be the first one out the fucking door
4.____ Totally fucking worthless

APPEARANCE:

1.____ Extremely neat; even combs his pubic hair
2.____ Looks great at evaluation time
3.____ Dirty, filthy, smelly son of a bitch
4.____ Flies leave fresh dog shit to follow him

PERFORMANCE:

1.____ Goes like a son of a bitch, if there is money in it for him
2.____ Does Ok around evaluation time
3.____ Works only if kicked in the ass every two minutes
4.____ Couldn't do less work if he were in a coma

LEADERSHIP:

1.____ Carries chain saw and gets good results
2.____ Occasionally gets told to get fucked
3.____ Mother Theresa tells him to get fucked
4.____ Couldn't lead a pack of hungery wolves to meat

I understand I have been evaluated and know my rights under the Privacy
Act of 1969. I further acknowedge I am as fucked up as a football bat
and will attempt to correct my deficiences.

EMPLOYEE SIGNATURE __________________________________

MANAGER SIGNATURE ___________________________________