Waiter, my plate's wet!
That's not wet, sir - that's the soup!

Waiter, send the chef here. I wish to complain about this disgusting meal.
I afraid you'll have to wait, sir. He's just popped out for his dinner.

Waiter, do you call this a three-course meal?
That's right, sir. Two chips and a pea.

Waiter, this soup tastes funny?
So why don't you laugh?

Waiter, there's a bird in my soup.
That's all right, sir. It's bird's nest soup.

Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.
Yes sir, they're not very good swimmers.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Well, keep quiet about it or everyone will want one...

Waiter, this coffee tastes like mud!
I'm not surprised, sir, it was ground only a few minutes ago

Waiter, your tie is in my soup!
That's all right, sir, it's not shrinkable.

Waiter, your thumb's in my soup!
That's all right, sir, it's not hot.

Waiter, what's this in my soup?
I'm not sure, sir, I can't tell one bug from another.

Waiter, this bun tastes of soap.
That's right, sir - it's a bathbun.

Waiter, there's a twig in my soup.
Yes, sir, we've got branches everywhere.